10 years from now…

Ten years from now I will be hitting the great I will be in my late forties . It sounds scary to think I will be hitting the great age of forty yikes but to me age has always been just a number. By that time I expect my house to be fully renovated, paid off, and have a good cushion of savings saved up. I expect to have my B.A. and hopefully working on my masters or possibly finishing. In ten years my oldest child will be in college and my second will be getting ready to graduate. It is a scary thought to think that with time, times are changing and that in rue reality I do not know what or where I will be. Life has has thrown many obstacle at me but I have manged around it. I know with self determination I will be anything and do anything I want to do but without setting goals and expectations on paper it is just a random thought that once came to mind in English class during a journal prompt.

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Academic Journal

As I wrote my journal on a weekly basis it gave me time to just write. The neat part of writing this journal was that it was self paced meaning it was not like a times test. Sometimes I was not in the feels to write and it was hard to get started but for the most part it was relaxing. Getting up in front of the class was never wrecking at times as well, but I managed to get it done. Writing this journal has helped me reflect on things that I never thought about like an old favorite toy, what inspires , or even my happy place. These things are existent for me but not something that fits to my everyday life. It is like a friendly reminder on how I take things for granted sometimes and that I once more need to slow down and enjoy what mother earth ah to offer. After not writing for so long as a writer I forgot how to write it took me out of the short handed every day texting, and out of email like memo’s that are sent out at work. My journals are something that I share with people at times to show them random thought that came to mind and things that I did not even really think about.

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What Inspires you?

What inspires me? Many things inspires me, my everyday encounters with different people inspires me. I get get inspired by my little’s to be a better person, to want more, do more and  to set a different example. My mom has inspired me in many ways times are endless and she never fails to stop. My professors inspire me everyday as well with their personal stories they tell sometimes. But at the end of the day my biggest inspiration is myself. Many might say oh your self centered but I am not. But if you think you are your own pump. It is up to us to inspire ourselves. You see based on different situations we may look for different things to inspire us like a quote of the day, an art work, or maybe a person we idolize but at the end of the day self inspiration leads to self determination.

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What kind of parent are you?

For starters parenting doe not come easy. Just like life itself has many obstacles so does parenting. For some it may come easy and for some its a bit harder. As for me as a teen parent parenting came easy as my first born was a great baby and til this day he makes parenting easy. My mother instinct kicked in, which means I did not have a hard time accepting that I was a parent and that it no longer was about me but that it was about my child. I can say so far I have beaten statistics and that I am with the father of my child with that being said I have a partner in this thing we call parenting. As a parent of my first I was a strict mom, I was really about structure and staying on top of schedules. Due to that my first born Benjamin is a great kid. Now, here is the twist to my parenting. when I had my second child fiver years later I never imagined I was going to have a child that will teach me t slow down, appreciate the little things that time has to how me. That accidents are OK and that getting dirty and ruining your clothes is OK. But, it took some time for me to learn this. Unfortunate I did not learn this till my first born was seven years old and my baby was 2. I had to learn this because my baby was receiving ABA services and little did I know he was going to be diagnosed with mild- moderate Autism. My kids are great kids my older child does talk back and throw fits like any other kid but that does not mean we have failed as parents. It just means I have some redirecting to do to better whatever situation we are in. So better answer the question I am a parent that lives by structure, schedules, which means I am a bit strict, but I do leave time for one on one and plenty of time for play. I tend to live by everything has its time and place and that not everything needs a reaction.

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Daises, concrete, tapeworm

The concrete was full of tapeworms, yet the air smelled like fresh daises.

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Scorching Heat in July

It was a warm sunny day, in the middle of July. The news advised to stay indoors, due to the triple digits. Its was a shame that there was an advisory that was put in place, because I had so many plans for that day. Although, it was just an advisory I knew I should listen.  I really wanted to go out and not have to stay indoors. But, this did work out because at the same same time I really wanted to stay indoors and just relax and listen to music. However my day was planned out just right. The most bizarre thing was that it looked as if it was going to rain.  Now, if you think about it we do live in beautiful California, where the we do not have set weather. I always think of it as mother nature keeping us o our toes. Although I knew to stay inside I went out and that is when it happened, I encountered the concrete that was full of tapeworms, yet the air smelled like fresh daises. It was all so weird.

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HAPPY PLACE

Many places make me happy but the outdoors makes me the happiest. This can be by the river bed, the dry hot dessert, the cold snowy mountains, or the best one the sandy beach. However, what makes any outdoor adventure the best is my family. It can be my little family or my really big family with all my other relatives. Although, it can get a little out of control due the weather implications or juts getting everyone to decide on something and getting together but at the end of the day getting together is what cunts for me. Time away is almost as if I am disconnecting from the everyday day life we call life. It is nice to get disconnected every now and then and just enjoy the out door and fresh air. Getting away getting a fresh start comes after the storm which is rewarding at the end of the day. Another thing that I do enjoy or makes me happy id the being spontaneous. A spontaneous trip the the great outdoors is the cherry on top of any scenario. Now, being outdoors makes me happy because of the fresh air, the sun beaming on my skin, the sand between my toes, but overall mother nature is what is the most rewarding part of it.

The Devils Bridge in Arizona neat place!

How have you grown as a writer?

For a quick minute I thought to myself that I have not grown as a writer. However, after thinking it through I guess I have! I find myself over thinking what I am going to write.

Now, as I proof read what I write I do not find my own mistakes. The funny thing is that if I read someone else’s writing I can find mistakes. Now, as for my sequencing what I plan to write is still a bit harder for me because once I start to write at some point my mind starts flowing with ideas but I blank out as to where to place that idea , that I come to think that it is irrelevant to what I am writing.

Nacirema

If once upon a time I were to be a anthropologist and I was studying the Nacirema tribe I would be a little frightful. Seeing these holy men twice a year in North America funny thing is that we live in North America, but despite the pain I would be in would give me a sense of purpose, as to why they do such thing. If you think about our society we do such thing our selves. We visit our dentist twice a year and when we go under any knife with the differences that we use anesthetics, and we give our valuable money to do such things. Now, this odd lifestyle and society they live in this is a taboo but it is a deep cultural belief. Although your beliefs and my beliefs are different we still come side by side to each other, as for this tribe hey are brave. With that being said if I were a anthropologist I would not do such thing but but because that is how we in our society are accustom to.

What makes you laugh?

Something that always makes me laugh is some girl by the name of Jessica. Jessica is a girl from a Netflix series that I have been watching, its called The New Girl. This show is based on three male roommates and her. They live in a loft and they all have different personalities, but the relationship they have with each other is great. When one is down they are all there for each other to rise each other up. However Jess is just plain funny. As for real life my son always makes me laugh with his blue cheese story he tells, which is about me. The story behind that is when I had just delivered my second child Jonathan Ben and his dad went out to get dinner, as requested they brought back a salad that I wanted. Although it was exactly what I requested I did not realized that the salad had blue cheese. As we all sat and ate tears came down, my honey freaked out as he did not know what as going on with me. He asked me a few times and I repeated that nothing was wrong, now that I think back to it I think I was not hormonal balanced. I have never liked blue cheese but that day I think I just blew out of proportion. When my son tells this story and I think back it always gets to me and crack me up.

 

 

 

Free Choice

Random thought…. I never stopped to think what life would be without my loved ones, as tomorrow is never promised. It wasn’t till yesterday that I actually stopped and reflected on life. Having your loved ones is a key to life as well as support. You see I’m the second youngest from the five that mom had, and the oldest popped babies like tic tacks. So i grew up with my niece and nephews, and never in a million years did I ever think my nephew would talk to me about self harm.  I see them as younger siblings that I look out for when I can. In true reality that opportunity has been presented to me time to time and I have gone to there rescue every time. Never has anyone of them said to me whats my purpose in this life, or I feel useless, and it wasn’t until yesterday I felt my hands tied and my mouth seal shut. My life is precious and your life is so precious as well talk and find your purpose to life